How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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