happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
