He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
