I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
