Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
