Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
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She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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