four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Everyone says I win the strip club
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I see more hoeing in ur future
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