we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
