I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
