Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
