So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
