So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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