it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
