so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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