very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
