he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
