remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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