her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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