I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize