And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
