just come out here and I will go home with you...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
