he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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