The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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