She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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