You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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