Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
