You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
