The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
