she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
