You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
