What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
handjob tips. give me some.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
