I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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