yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
