gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
