Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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