No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
