i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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