She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
