Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
