Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
