He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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