By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
