I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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