She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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