Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize