I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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