Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
