i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
