I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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