plz talk dirty to me
We are two peas in an std pod
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
