i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
