I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
