Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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