By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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