Who did Billy Mays play for?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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