I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
This toilet bowl is my home.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
