So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
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He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
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Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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