Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
