So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
