wrigley field is MILF paradise
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
