the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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