I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
