I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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