If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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