god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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